It's another Monday. Like any other days, I start every waking hour checking my social media account notifications. And then there was on #OnThisDay, a reminder that I have been single for two years today. How time flies!
Driving on the way to work, I couldn't help but think about everything that has changed since..
Being still NBSB (no boyfriend since birth) until after a couple of years since graduation, I was asking the universe for lovelife.
A couple of years since NBSBreak (no boyfriend since break), all I ask for is a decent sleep every night.
Before, I used to ask how come I was still single when my friends and cousins similar to my age already have their respective partners. Now I am in a place where I don't worry about having no one to update every single day with what I do, who I'm with or where I go. I can say I am comfortable with being my own person.
Before, I even told my ex, "You know me more than I know myself." and I have come to realize that that wasn't healthy at all. (I cringe at the mere thought of me actually saying that!) Since the breakup, I saw to it that I'd learn more about myself. I tried new things and learned to depend more on me than anybody else.
And that's when I knew that I am on the right track. I am right where I should be. It takes a whole person to love somebody else fully. Love isn't meant to fill in gaps you feel within yourself. You have to fill in the void, not look for someone to fill it for you.
There are a lot of things singleness have taught me. Mandy Hale (author of my favorite self-help books The Single Woman, I've Never Been To Vegas But My Luggage Has, Beautiful Uncertainty, and You Are Enough) was right,
"Sometimes it takes a heartbreak to shake us awake and help us see we are worth so much more than we're settling for."
and that,
"Being brave enough to be alone frees you up to invite people into your life because you want them and not because you need them."
Being comfortable with who you are, knowing your worth, accepting that some people are just meant to stay in your life for a season, and knowing that some doors close for a reason are just a few of the things this beautiful singleness journey has taught me.
Oftentimes I just stop and find myself realizing that life can be a lot like the variety of movies and series Netflix has to offer -- adventure, romance, comedy, drama, thriller, action.
Like in almost all the plots, maybe we never got lost in living this life after all, it just keeps redirecting us to the right direction.
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